I'm having a hard time getting my head on today. It's like there's a block or something that really makes me want to do nothing at all and everything at once. And somewhere in the middle is my work that needs doing and my drive for projects other than what I'm required to be working on. I'm not sure when this happens if it's just me or if there is more to it.
I'm pretty sure that when I'm hormonal (yes, it's a cause) I'm less in control of my impulses. I say things, I divulge information on things. I get worked up. I talk. I feel uneasy about what I've said, and then somehow I can't seem to keep from saying more of it. I don't have the down-side from any bipolar-like disorder, at least I don't think so. But I'm pretty sure I've got the manic-side and go a little nuts and get all aggitated.
It wouldn't matter to me if I were bipolar, it's a credit to creatives and seems to make their work all the more deep and intense. The ability to let go of the whole rest of the world to focus solely on a project has got to have some merit. Those famous artists who have given their all to be creative and who have had their trials with the disorder recorded as part of the battle they waged to see their works through leaves little doubt that being sort of crazy is part of the territory.
Grandiose dreams and ideas are sometimes the jumping off point for those who want to make more of this world. Dream bigger than you are.
I'm good at that. I'm one of the best at fixing myself on some ideas and then working through them piece by piece by piece until maybe I get one or a few of them finished. I might be better at what I do than I think, even. And I need these dreams. They keep me up, keep me hopeful, keep me seeing this world as someplace where impossible things are likely to happen. I keep them alive and feed them hope and talk about them and share the visions with others.
But the bigger they get, the more I worry I'll fail them and the more I worry I've spread them too thin by sharing the energy from them. Do secret projects pull off better than public ones? I want to see others involved in the execution of these projects and to involve their hope and spirit, just like mine. But when I can't follow through or something is only possible farther down the way, am I setting these dreams up to fail?
I'm pretty sure that when I'm hormonal (yes, it's a cause) I'm less in control of my impulses. I say things, I divulge information on things. I get worked up. I talk. I feel uneasy about what I've said, and then somehow I can't seem to keep from saying more of it. I don't have the down-side from any bipolar-like disorder, at least I don't think so. But I'm pretty sure I've got the manic-side and go a little nuts and get all aggitated.
It wouldn't matter to me if I were bipolar, it's a credit to creatives and seems to make their work all the more deep and intense. The ability to let go of the whole rest of the world to focus solely on a project has got to have some merit. Those famous artists who have given their all to be creative and who have had their trials with the disorder recorded as part of the battle they waged to see their works through leaves little doubt that being sort of crazy is part of the territory.
Grandiose dreams and ideas are sometimes the jumping off point for those who want to make more of this world. Dream bigger than you are.
I'm good at that. I'm one of the best at fixing myself on some ideas and then working through them piece by piece by piece until maybe I get one or a few of them finished. I might be better at what I do than I think, even. And I need these dreams. They keep me up, keep me hopeful, keep me seeing this world as someplace where impossible things are likely to happen. I keep them alive and feed them hope and talk about them and share the visions with others.
But the bigger they get, the more I worry I'll fail them and the more I worry I've spread them too thin by sharing the energy from them. Do secret projects pull off better than public ones? I want to see others involved in the execution of these projects and to involve their hope and spirit, just like mine. But when I can't follow through or something is only possible farther down the way, am I setting these dreams up to fail?
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